TRACING
Overview
Tracing or Searching for birth parents is something that will affect all our lives at some time in the future. Obviously it is a sensitive subject and one which each family will handle in their own way, however it is important for parents to realise that there are people who are willing to help right now. After five months of researching things finally came together and we now have some wonderful, genuine people in Vietnam who have agreed to help Irish couples. Below is a brief summary of Tracing and some of the problems that parents will have. We want to stress at the outset that not everyone will be successful.
For some time now a member of the VIS group has been in contact with an organisation called Oasis. For personal reasons she decided to ask her contact there if she could give her any information on Searchers, or if she knew of anyone she could recommend. Our member made contact with different people and felt the response she received was so positive and informative that she recently brought the results of her research to the attention of the VIS Committee. At a special meeting it was agreed that the information gathered should be made available to all VIS members.
While poverty is still the primary cause of relinquishment in Vietnam, there are others such as a young unmarried girl having a baby in secret, or a baby born prematurely etc. In most Provinces there is a “Form of Renouncement / Relinquishment”, This is signed by the Birth Mother before her baby is placed in an orphanage. The only exception is Thai Nguyen, where for some reason since the signing of the treaty it has become illegal to abandon or relinquish a child. As a result any searches here since the Agreement will be very difficult but searches for adoptions prior to 2004 are not affected by this law. There are other areas where a birth mothers name may figure such as hospital records or the National Register of Births in Hanoi (however not all babies have their births registered it depends on where they were born). For those wishing to search in the South this “Form of Renouncement” is used extensively and will hopefully make things a little easier for you. Check out an article “Form of Renouncement” in VietNamNetBridge
The following are the people who have been contacted directly and are willing to assist parents in Searches.
Lyna Sok
You can find her C.V. at www.riverkidsproject.org, click on people, hers is the third one down. Lyna has a set fee of 100 dollars a day this does not include her flight to Vietnam.
CURRENT UPDATE 11/03/2009:
Lyna Sok is quite happy to continue helping couples although she has said that she would not be able to do any tracing in one of the Northern Provinces for the time being.
Katie Loncar and Dr Hong
Katie Loncar and Dr Hong (the same Dr Hong who organised adoptions for Irish couples prior to the treaty) work together and also carry out searches. This was the best news yet. Katie has one daughter from Vietnam and two biological children. Both she and her husband have done a lot of voluntary work in Hanoi. At the moment they are in the process of building an Orphanage and Family Centre in Hanoi. Dr Hong helped Katie trace for her daughters birth family. This is what she says with regard to her search “I can only tell you all that for us it was a God send in our child’s life. Lily is not overly involved in her birth family, but she has found her “Vietnameseness”. She is secure in who she is and where she came from. Those are not the issues they were threatening to become” Katie and Dr Hong have agreed to help Irish Couples in fact they put our member in contact with parents who have papers with them already. They have recently traced successfully for one couple. Katie is in Vietnam at the moment so I wouldn’t try and contact her until after the 15th of November.
The following is a list of things that are needed:
1. A cover sheet with the parent(s) name(s) and the child’s name in English and Vietnamese, your home address and contact details.
2. Copies of all your papers, those which are translated and those which are not.
3. Copy of relinquishment letter if you have one
4. If you wish 10 envelopes with your own name and address on them for the Birth Parents to write to you. Katie will buy the stamps for them in Hanoi.
5. A note with any extra information you may have been given.
6. If you wish to include a picture of your child please do.
Katie and Dr Hong do not charge however Katie does feel that if contact is made on your behalf then you should send something to cover Dr Hongs expenses. If contact is made and couples choose to send money to the Birth Family (remember many of these people live in dire poverty) then Katie and Dr Hong will cash cheques of no more than 200 dollars and give it to the families. They do not suggest posting money as it will probably never reach the family. They also want to make clear that “there are a number of cases that just have no possible solution. This is difficult news to take for some of you if you were really counting on finding the family……but Hong will do her best and give you all the info she can as to why they can’t be found” Katie and her husband hope that over the next few years some of our members might travel to Vietnam and lend a hand with the new orphanage, building, painting, gardening and training etc.
CURRENT UPDATE 11/03/2009:
Due to family commitments neither Katy Loncar nor Dr. Hong are available for searches at the moment.
Sr. Susan Macdonald
Sr. Susan Macdonald is an extraordinary woman who played a vital role in Operation Babylift. She has been contacted and is willing to help couples to trace in the South.
It is impossible to know where to start telling you about this amazing lady but if you look on the internet you will find many articles on her. This is what she had to say with regards to adoption “As most of you can imagine, these children grow up with many (mostly unexpressed) questions. The most important thing to convey to children is that their birth mothers loved them. Circumstances of poverty, illness, made it impossible for their original family to care for them. It will go much better for everyone if the children’s families in Vietnam can be located. No matter how much you love the children, at some point they are going to think the woman who gave birth to them did not want them. For them, this means there is something wrong with them. I have encountered this in most of the children (now adults) no matter how much they were loved. They will grow up looking different from most people around them. Children will tease them. Adults will ask them inappropriate questions (Do you know who your REAL mother is? Where are you from?) that other children do not get asked. They will understand that they are different and this can be very uncomfortable. So any information, photos you can show them, give them, that tells their story will support the children”
We strongly advise that you look at “Message from Sr. Susan McDonald to adoptees” on the internet. She has also recommended two books which we are adding to our essential reading list. There are a limited number and they can only be bought from Sr. Susan so don’t delay. Up to now Sr. Susan has not charged anything but her order are now asking her to charge a small fee, this she assured our member that it will be small.
CURRENT UPDATE 11/03/2009:
Sr Susan is still working with many couples and is due to travel shortly to Vietnam. She has had a couple of people respond to the letters she has sent.
Trails of Indochina
Trails of Indochina, have proven extremely helpful and efficient. They charge a very reasonable fee and for those who just want to confirm their child’s finding story, they are great. They will send you a detailed report on their trip, interviews and photos with those who found and cared for your baby and photos of the place that he/she was found. To my knowledge they have also been able to pass on information on the whereabouts etc of at least one Birth Family.
For those who have been finding it hard to keep in contact with Birth Families or who are unsure if their letters etc are reaching them, Trails of Indochina for a reasonable fee will bring letters, gifts, photos etc to Birth Families. Again you will be provided with a report and photos of their trip. Generally speaking translations of letters etc are included in their fee.
Websites
The following websites were recommended by OASIS and Katie Loncar : http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BirthParentContact This is a small very private site of couples who are tracing, interested in tracing or who have traced in different countries. Our member joined Birth Parent Contact and posted a message saying she was interested in tracing and looking for information on how to go about it.
http://groups.yahoo.co/group/a-parents-vietnam This is a listserve for families with children from Vietnam.
http://www.van-online.org/ This is an Australian website, many of its members are now young adults who left Vietnam during operation Babylift in the 70’s. Their feelings towards adoption and the issues they have give us a good insight into how we can help our children and what question they may want answers to. Many of these people are trying to trace and it is well worth reading some of the things they have to say.
Finally we can only stress again that not all traces will be successful.
A big thank you to Sr. Susan, Katie and Dr Hong for caring enough to help.
The Committee VIS wish all the couples who choose to go down this road the very best of luck. Contact details for any of the above are available from VIS. Remember we are always just a phone call or an email away.
THE COMMITTEE
The VietIrishSupport committee members are as follows:
Chairperson - Raphael Ryan
Secretary - Liz Stafford
Treasurers - Noreen Cashman & Mary Foley
Deirdre Hennessy
Mandy Cotter
Carol O'Brien
John Savage
Michael O'Driscoll
Noreen Cashman
The committee members may be contacted by email
at vietirishsupport@me.com or on Mobile 086 8244296
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